Женско-мужской словарь

Когда мужчина говорит, что ему нечего надеть, это значит, что у него не осталось ничего чистого. Когда женщина говорит, что ей нечего надеть, это значит, что у нее не осталось ничего нового. Конечно, это шутка, но в каждой шутке...

Может, стоит ненадолго отложить словари и учебники и попытаться понять этих пришельцев с Венеры? Ну а чтоб словари далеко не откладывать, сделайте это на английском.

Translations of the Female Language

Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use Fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. Nothing: This means something, and you should be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last Five Minutes and end with the word Fine. Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over Nothing and will end with the word Fine. Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or Do what you want, because I don't care. You will get a raised eyebrow Go ahead in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing and Fine and she will talk to you in about Five Minutes when she cools off.

<Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing.

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